Tuesday, 15 December 2009

At the End of the World, Turn Left

Julia Wyler knew how to lie. She had participated in countless productions from the West End to Broadway, and even in an amateur play in Paris just after university. To say she was talented would be an immense understatement; ‘gifted’ was the term most often used for the work she did. But her career was short-lived, and by the time she was thirty-two she decided that she was now famous enough to write a book.

Her husband was not an actor, or a model, or an agent. Brian Wyler had done nothing more impressive in his life than winning a football trophy at seventeen, yet for some reason, the famous and beautiful Julia had fallen in love with him. They married young, and opted against children. But they were deliriously happy and eternally devoted to one another.

Yes, Julia Wyler was a practiced actress, and a skilled liar. But the day she was called to the stand at the Monroe County Courthouse to defend her husband, her talent abandoned her. She had rehearsed a convincing alibi for Brian, and was more than prepared to play the innocent and emotional housewife, but for reasons that even she could not comprehend, she simply couldn’t lie. She could only watch the smugness grow on the prosecutor’s face as she sobbingly confessed to his sins.


11 YEARS LATER


In his four years of pre-med university, seven years of medical school, and twelve as a practicing physician, Dr. Arlo Gordon had finally decided that he was, in fact, far too old to be killing people. He was nearly fifty, and looked it. The stress of failed surgeries and delusional patients begging to be saved had carved deep lines into his once handsome face, and his hair, whilst still full and thick, was streaked with silver.

He cleared his throat and removed his glasses. Heaving a great, dramatic sigh, he held his hands out in front of him and stared down at the palms he no longer recognised. They were skilled, careful hands; hands that had saved many lives... and that had killed many. It hadn’t bothered him so much in his more successful years, but now that his eldest daughter had suffered her second miscarriage, life seemed considerably more important.

“Doctor?”

Dr. Gordon glanced up from his hands. He hadn’t heard the door open, but the nurse, Olivia, was standing curiously in the doorway, her smooth black hair scraped back into a ponytail, her shockingly large green eyes shadowed in black kohl.

“Sorry, Olivia,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly before replacing his glasses. She shut the door carefully behind her and slid a manila envelope onto the doctor’s desk. He stared at it.

“Another one?” he asked blankly. She nodded quietly and checked her watch.

“It’s nearly ten,” she told him. “The second floor’s already closed up for tonight.”

“Liv...” the doctor murmured nervously. “I don’t-”

She pushed the envelope out of the way and perched on the corner of the desk, raising an eyebrow inquiringly. Olivia Walker was possibly the most beautiful young woman Arlo had ever worked with- surely more beautiful than his wife, although it pained him to admit it. He was still handsome himself, although old age had done its best to prevent women who weren’t his wife from being attracted to him. But, for some reason, Olivia was.

“The other nurse has already left,” she assured hm. “The night watch doesn’t come around here for a half hour yet. We have time.”

“No... I can’t,” Arlo forced himself to say. “Not tonight. My wife-”

“Feeling guilty, Arlo?” Olivia said coldly. “That’s never stopped you before.”

“Liv, it might be a revelation to you, but I actually have a family. I have a wife, and three daughters at home. Sometimes I have to be there for them, and not here with you.”

Olivia glared at him, stung. After an icy moment of silence, she slid off the desk and turned her back on him to leave the room. She paused by the door, and muttered something that, had she not been sleeping with her boss, would have had her fired, before slamming it behind her.


***


Arlo pulled up the driveway just before midnight, to the blissful quiet of a house where all the children are asleep. He found his wife in the kitchen, sitting at the table in her nightgown with her ear to the telephone receiver.

“Honey, I know,” she spoke into the mouthpiece. “It’s hard, but you’ll get through it, I promise.” She looked up at Arlo standing awkwardly in the doorway and raised an eyebrow. “Look, sweetie, your father’s just walked in. Get some sleep and I’ll come straight over in the morning, alright? Okay, I love you too.”

She hung up the receiver and stared stonily up at him. “That was Jenny,” she said quietly. “She and Harvey are going to book tests at the fertility clinic. Why are you home so late, anyway?”

“New patient file,” Arlo replied tiredly. “Paperwork.”

Kate Gordon looked up at her husband with pain in her eyes. She had loved him for twenty-eight years, but she had learned recently that his love for her had faded as they had grown older. Stress and work had driven an angry wedge between them, not to mention the considerable lack of lovemaking since Jenny’s first miscarriage. There was so much she wanted to tell him in that single, long moment. But the sadness in his eyes told her it was not the time, so she held her tongue, and they went up to bed.


***


Brian was already perched on the edge of the examination chair when Dr. Gordon entered his office the next morning. A pang of nerves and anguish shuddered through him when he saw Brian, looking as happy as a five-year-old boy with a two-scoop ice cream cone, swinging his legs like reverse pendulums and grinning widely.

“Hey, Doc!” the patient beamed.

“Morning, Brian,” Arlo replied, as jovially as he could.

“Did you get the message?” Brian asked eagerly. “I’m getting out today. Eleven years I’ve been here, and the wife’s never visited once. She’s called, of course, but it’s not the same, you know?”

“Yeah,” Dr. Gordon mumbled, thinking of his own wife at home.

“Anyway, she doesn’t know I got out early. I’ll show up at the house with a big bunch of flowers and no handcuffs, I bet she’ll be over the freaking moon. Everything will go back to the way it was.” He sighed. “God, I miss her.”

While Brian talked on and on about the life he’d missed out on those past eleven years, Arlo assembled his instruments. He had worked at Monroe County Prison for five years, and every time a prisoner was released, they went through the same procedure. Because the prison wasn’t the most hygienic place in the world, they had to be pumped full of antitoxins to protect against any harmful micro-organisms with which they might have come into contact. Not to mention the fact that the inmates worked, slept and showered in incredibly close quarters, which meant that a basic immunity shot was also necessary.

“I never expected for a girl like that to fall in love with me,” Brian was saying. “I mean, she’s beautiful. Beautiful. She’s modelled in Paris, for Christ’s sake. And she’s acted too- people know her name all over the world, and she marries a guy like me? I mean, she’s not as famous as Angelina Jolie, but she’s still way out of my league. Before this, I was in plumbing!” He chuckled and stared blankly ahead, reminiscing.

Dr. Gordon wiped Brian’s arm with a disinfectant cloth and pushed the needle under his skin. Brian winced and bit his lip, but didn’t cry out like some of the others had. He fell silent though, and frowned as he watched the doctor unwind the catheter and push a syringe into the opening at the other end, injecting the translucent, honey-coloured liquid into his body.

“You okay?” the doctor asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah...” Brian whispered. “I just can’t wait to see Julia.”

The doctor removed the needle from Brian’s arm and waited for a few moments, before the man’s breath slowed, and he slumped over the side of the chair, his arm hanging limp and lifeless, his chest still. Arlo pressed two fingers to Brian’s neck and waited for a moment.

“Time of death; nine seventeen.”


***


“I don’t understand.”

Julia Wyler sat awkwardly on the other side of Dr. Gordon’s desk, her pale yellow hair pinned up in a tight bun and her bright blue eyes shaded with heavy black liner. Red tendrils began to thicken around her pupils, tears of frustration forming.

“Brian was on death row for a year before today,” Arlo explained in a low voice. “This system was developed last January, but we’ve only recently begun to use it in county prisons. The basic idea is-”

“But why didn’t you tell me?” Julia interrupted. “Why didn’t anyone call and tell me, so I could at least say goodbye to him? I never got to see him! Not once, since he came here! And now the last memory I’ll have had of him is that day at the courthouse when they took him away…” She trailed off, burying her face in her hands and sobbing loudly.

Arlo swallowed, resisting the overwhelming urge to put an arm around her, and tell her everything was going to be fine. But, much as he disagreed with the way he was instructed to carry out the executions, comforting loved ones was not part of the job description.

“We carried out a study last year which showed that prisoners on death row were more likely to cause serious problems in the months or weeks coming up to their executions. Some tried to escape, some started regular fights; one even killed two fellow inmates and a sergeant. So a judge in Napa came up with a system by which the inmates on death row would be told they were being released, instead of being executed. So, on what would, to them, be there last day, they would receive a medical check-up during which, instead of being injected with an immune booster, they would be put to death by lethal injection.”

“What did he say?” Julia whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“His last words,” she hissed. “What were they?”

Arlo sighed. “He said he couldn’t wait to see you.”

“Then why couldn’t you let him?!” Julia screamed, standing up, her entire body shaking with fury, her eyes narrow slits of anger. “Why couldn’t you grant his dying wish? What harm would it have done to you?”

“It would have been unethical,” Arlo replied calmly, placing a reassuring hand on her trembling shoulder, until she sat down again, still quivering. “And furthermore, I am not the one who makes those decisions. I am not the one who passes the sentence; I am merely the one who carries out the orders.”

They sat in silence for what felt like an hour. Julia cried soundlessly, wide tears running over her cheeks and dripping from her chin onto the silk scarf at her throat.

“It was an accident,” Julia said quietly. Arlo looked up. “He never meant for it to happen. I remember, he came home in tears, panicking; there was blood on his shirt, and his tie was ripped. I didn’t understand... He just kept saying ‘someone’s dead, someone’s dead,’ and I didn’t- I didn’t know what to do.” She looked up at the doctor. “But I loved him, you know? He was my forever.”

“You didn’t know how someone you loved so much could shock you like this.”

“Yes.” Julia nodded and buried her face in her hands once more.

“I’m so sorry, Julia. I really am. I didn’t want to have to do this. But once he was sentenced, there was nothing to be done. He may not have meant for it to happen, but it did happen. He was not an innocent man.” He said the last sentence with a distinct finality in his voice. Julia looked up and replied in a quieter voice that he thought was possible.

“But I loved him.”

Thursday, 29 October 2009

On the Brightside -- by NeverShoutNever

I met a man of two feet tall
This man was quite ambitious
In a world that is so vicious to us all
I said, "Hi," as he replied
He said, "Listen to these words
That I have lived by my whole life

"You're only as tall as your heart will let you be
And you're only as small as the world will make you seem
When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall
Just look on the brightside - you're roughly six feet tall"

I met a man of 12 feet tall
He towered like a giant
In a world that was defiant of his height
I said, "Hi," as he replied
He said, "Listen to these words
That I have dreaded my whole life

"You're only as tall as your heart will let you be
And you're only as small as the world will make you seem
When the going gets rough and you feel like you may fall
Just look on the brightside - you're roughly six feet tall."

I am a man of six feet tall
Just looking for some answers
In a world that answers none of them at all
I'll say, "Hi," but not reply
To the letters that you write
Because I found some peace of mind

Cause I'm only as tall as my heart will let me be
And I'm only as small as the world will make me seem
When the going gets rough and I feel like I may fall
I'll look on the brightside - I'm roughly six feet tall.

N.B. These are the lyrics to a very profound song. I didn't write it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3e-RaGnYL8 that's the link if you're interested. It's a beautiful track

Thursday, 22 October 2009

The Sprite and the Other

"But why?"

The sprite curled her toes around the thick branch and pressed her fingertips into the bark, peering distrustfully at the other. Her harsh green eyes narrowed.

"This is human ignorance," she growled, her voice lowering with malice. "You seem not to understand what you cannot see, when really it is just that you choose not to understand what you do not want to see. It is all out there, if you only open your eyes to it. But you won't"

"What makes you so sure?" the other questioned innocently.

The sprite chuckled. "See, this is the difference between you and me. You are large and clumsy; I am small and lithe. You are loud and unintelligent, whereas my species is full of knowledge. You are human, I am not. There is the difference."

"It doesn't have to be a difference," the other mused. "Could we not just be similar?"

"Where is this similarity you speak of?" spat the sprite, crawling to the very end of the branch and straddling it in an ungainly fashion. "I see no similarities between you and I. But then again, what human can see anything but its own stupidity. There is nothing for you here- nothing. So why not just leave? Take your friends- your idiocy, and leave us be."

She hissed menacingly and plucked a waterfly from her ripped garment. The other frowned, expressing hurt and discomfort, but did not move.

"Go, I said!" the sprite screeched, sending a squirrel shooting up the oak's thick trunk.

"If there is nothing between us," the other stated clearly, "then who are you to tell me that your knowledge is of a higher kind? If we are not the same, what makes you better? Yes, I can admit that we are clumsy, loud, and idiotic at times, but you, what adventure do you have? You spend your life in the hollow of a tree, too terrified to even leave it for a moment. What kind of life is that?"

The sprite snarled threateningly and the hairs on her neck bristled angrily. The wrinkles embedded deeply in her gnarled skin wriggled as she stretched her entire body over the space of the branch. "A safe one," she replied angrily.

The other smiled sadly. "That is not a life."

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Christmas Presents

Once upon a time, when the world was warmer, and kinder, and sweeter, there was a Boy. The Boy was polite, and cheerful, and curious, and beloved by all who found themselves in his presence. His parents were well-respected, but this meant little, because respect was not a rare commodity in this old world. The people were polite, and kind, and altogether wonderful- it was all they knew.

One Christmas Eve, when the Boy was seven, he dressed the tree with his father. They hung baubles and tied streamers and strung lights, and then his father showed him how to switch the lights on and off at the socket. The Boy's mother came in then, beaming broadly and carrying in her arms a cardboard box of brightly wrapped presents. She and the Boy's father gathered the presents under the tree and told the Boy that he must wait until Christmas Day to open the presents with the rest of the family. The Boy nodded yes.

The Boy's father took his son upstairs and tucked him into bed, and told him he loved him, and kissed him on the forehead, and switched out the lights, leaving the door just slightly ajar to let a little light in from downstairs (the Boy was scared of the dark). The Boy fell asleep almost immediately, and dreamed of the sweet, lovely things that were waiting for him under the beautiful Christmas tree that he had dressed with his father.

Then, unexpectedly, the dream turned sour. The Boy sat up in his bed, and the room seemed to pulsate slightly, the edges blackened and fuzzy. The lights were still on outside his room, but the door was closed and the lamp in the hall outside seemed to be flickering, glowing... burning.

The Boy inhaled curiously, but smelled only the sweetness of Christmas. It was intoxicating. He threw back the covers and tiptoed towards the door. His feet padded curiously on the hardwood flooring, like the swirled, deep brown panels were made of something not quite solid, yet not quite gas or liquid. Reaching the door, the Boy pressed down the handle and pulled it open.

The hallway seemed to pulsate too- an unnatural haze, like visible heat, surrounded him. He wished to go downstairs to look once more at the beauty of the tree. He tiptoed towards the stairs, but a single stripe of burning orange flames blocked his path. Staring curiously through them, he marveled at the way the flames licked the wallpaper, the banister, the steps, without leaving so much as a black mark.

They seemed to sparkle, sending shadows across the walls and ceiling. The Boy took a decided step forward. As he moved through the fire, he felt pleasantly comforted by the beautiful flames that licked his body, enveloping him, embracing him... He passed through them and continued down the stairs, leaving the fire blazing behind him in its single stripe across the top step.

Feeling a delicious pull towards the drawing room, the Boy glided down the corridor and drifted into the high-ceilinged room. Kneeling by the tree, the Boy gazed up at it. It seemed taller than he remembered. It was also bare. The coloured baubles, the sparkly tinsel, the lights, were gone, as if they had never been. Yet the Boy knew they had. He knew they had been there. He had put them there himself.

Angry now, the Boy hoisted himself to his feet. No, he whispered. He reached under the tree- no presents. He shrieked, a high-pitched, wailing shriek, and fell to his knees at the foot of the tree, chest heaving. He lifted his face to stare furiously at the endlessly green leaves, and saw that they had begun to melt. No! he screeched, pressing his forehead to the floor and clasping his hands frustratedly behind his head. He felt moisture on his fingertips. His nails had dug into his scalp until he had bled. Suddenly morbidly excited, he ripped at his scalp, pulling bloody clumps of hair from his head and casting them to the floor. Cackling hysterically at his own pain, he pulled and ripped at his locks until his head was a bald, bleeding dome.

Seething, eyes wide with hysterical fury, he glared up at the melting tree. It looked now like no more than a forest-green mountain slope. And then the boy fell, exhausted, like a dead weight, and sighed in a last ecstasy.

The following morning, Christmas Day, the Boy dressed, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and descended the stairs to meet his parents for breakfast. It was nine o'clock by the time he reached the kitchen, but they had not yet made their appearance. Confused, he returned to his room and descended again at ten. Still, they were not at the table.

The Boy called out to them, checked their room, searched the house, but there was no sign. At seven years, the Boy was unfamiliar with this sort of emergency procedure, and could not reach the phone anyway. He took his coat from the front closet, zipped it up as his mother would have, put on his shoes and tied the laces, pocketed the front door key, and left the house. A police constable had paused on his bicycle to cross the road outside the house. The Boy called out to him, but he made no effort to respond.

The Boy walked for a short time along the road until he reached the corner shop where he sometimes bought sweets, or went with his mother to buy milk and eggs. He barely reached the first row of chocolates, but he stood on tiptoe and called over the counter. Has my mother come by? But the man behind the counter was busy serving a swarthy-skinned woman with a swollen belly that mildly struck the Boy's curiosity. But he did not indulge it.

Leaving the corner shop, he stopped at the butcher's, forgetting that his father was a vegetarian. Have my parents come by? But the butcher did not respond.

Feeling sad and neglected, the Boy left the shop and sat despondently on the street curb. He sighed, running a hand through his blonde locks. A young Girl, no more than five or six, skipped across the street, her yellow plaits bouncing childishly on her shoulders, her fingers clamped around an ice cream cone. She stopped for a moment, smiled at the Boy, and sat beside him on the curb. Are you alright?

"You know," said the Boy to the Girl. "I should feel lucky. To have been born on a world with such kindness in its roots. Everyone is lovely. Everyone is lovely, and nice, and sweet, and no one is mean, and no one hates anybody else. I should feel lucky. But now I'm scared, and I don't have anyone. It can get lonely here. It can get really very lonely."

The Girl said nothing, but smiled enigmatically and licked her ice cream.

"I don't quite know how it happened, but I think that while I was sleeping last night, I may have grown up some. i don't feel like seven. And I don't like not being seven. I don't like no Christmas presents, either, and now there aren't any. What's changed? It's only been... I don't like it."

The Girl said nothing.

"I don't think anyone is going to help me."

The Girl's smile faltered, and her bright, glossy yellow hair seemed to fade, ever so slightly.

"I don't think I should stay."

The Girl looked up quickly, and smiled. The Boy smiled too. They both stood, and the Girl held out her hand. The Boy took it. Together, they walked into the road, and faded into the distance.

They never once looked back.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Notre Rose

Il y a sept roses.
Je n'ai qu'une,
Mais j'ai aussi la terre,
Et la soleil,
Et tout l'eau
Alors tout les autre roses sont morts.

Maintenant, je n'ai pas la terre,
Maintenant, je n'ai pas la soleil,
Ou assez l'eau...
Et je ne t'ai pas.

Mais, j'ai cette rose.
Mon rose...
Ton rose.
Et notre rose est
Vivante.


N.B. I wrote this poem using a French dictionary and with the grammatical corrections of my friend Kermit. It sounds prettier in French, but loosely translated, it means:

There are seven roses.
I have only one,
But I also have the earth,
And the sun,
And all the water
So all the other roses are dead.

Now, I do not have the earth,
Now, I do not have the sun,
Or any water...
And I don't have you.

But, I have this rose.
My rose...
Your rose.
And our rose is
Alive.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Lord Of the Flies

The following was a class assignment for English Literature. I can't remember what the questions were, but I recently found this paper that had the answers on it, and I liked it, so... here we go.

If I ruled the world, I would outlaw smoking, hunting + fishing for sport, alcohol, clothes made from leather, fur and suchlike, and child/slave labour. I would enforce harsher punishments for racism, stricter penalties for road violations, wider facilities for the mentally and physically disabled, longer summer vacations and more meat supplements.

I feel the sand almost before I am awake. The miniscule grains curve the fit the shape of my body, sneaking into the linings of my clothes and irritating my skin. The heat of it finally reaches me as I wake to my flesh burning white-hot. I leap to my feet and run for cover under the shade of a palm tree. Looking out at the clear water sparkling under the burning disc that dominates the sky, I hear the call of a foreign bird, squawking in a symphonic monologue. I rasp my tongue along the roof of my mouth and taste the salt from the ocean that lingers there, my nostrils filling with the same harsh smell of fresh sea.

If I was stranded on a desert island, I would probably be too shocked for too long to do anything productive.

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Paper Hearts [Part 2] -- The Self-Explanatory Enigma

I am your coffee in the morning.
I am the sugar, the sweetener, and the filtered orange juice.
I am your toast gone cold.
I am the milk you spilled.
I am the bus you missed, and the train that’s late.
I am your boss and your teacher,
I am your lover and your mother,
I am the one who tells you what to do every day.
I am everything you detest about humanity,
And everything you love.

I am a rollercoaster.
I am the spire atop Le Tour Eiffel.
I am a bungee rope.
I am vertigo.
I am chocolate, and sex, and the Brooklyn Bridge.
I am your life, your love.
I am the things you never thought you could do.
I am the things that shock your friends.
I am the silver lining on every cloud,
And the rainstorm within it.

I am a drug.
I am the orgasm of peer-pressure and the stain of deceit,
I am the web of destruction and the circuit of lies.
I am the prison sentence.
I am the handcuffs.
I am the face behind the camera.
I am the one who got away with it,
I am the reason you did not.
I am the pain of that bad break-up,
And the cheating whore you dumped.

I am the high school drama,
I am the Gossip Girl.
I am the trademark slut,
I am the bookish nerd, and the silent emo.
I am the outrageous feminist,
I am the token homosexual.
I am your godforsaken prejudices.
I am a teenager.
Give up-
You can’t change me.