Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Spoons, Sessions and Civil Assassins

Greetings from Limmud Conference 2008, where over 2,000 Jews have gathered from around the planet for this unique five-day educational seminar. I use the adjective educational in a very literal sense, because the sessions that run from eight o'clock in the morning to an hour after midnight educate their participants in a variety of topics; and not all of them relevant to Judaism, although there are plenty that are. Limmud, now in its twenty-sixth year, was named for this purpose. The name originates from the Hebrew word lom'ed, meaning learn, thus leading to the word that started it all, educational. With all this chit-chat I have quite forgotten the purpose of this paragraph.

Unfortunately, the game of Guess-My-Name of which I am oh so fond has become impossible at Limmud, as every human present at the conference is obligated to display a plastic card around one's neck at all times, stating the bearer's name and the name of the area from which they hail. However, I have discovered a good use for this candor, for at Limmud, there is a hunt...

There is a hunt involving spoons and sessions and talented tappers, that will finish at the stroke of midnight, mere hours before we are evacuated from our host university and sent home to our loving families, new years parties and bad alcohol. Each participant in the Game is given a victim, and must then obtain a weapon with a long handle and a dipping end- small and ladlelike... most often referred to as a Spoon. All assassins must then hunt trategically for their victim and when their nametages are spotted........... they ATTACK! This involves a jovial tap on the torso with the ladley end of the spoon. The victim then makes their death official by signing a paper, and surrenders the name of their victim. The hunt continues.

Ahem. Moving right along...

The sessions at Limmud were most interesting. I rose every morning at approximately 10:10 to eat a speedy breakfast and then proceed to my first session of the day, often a creative or practical workshop, and went to more sessions like this until approximately 13:13 in the afternoon, whence I would eat a twelve-minute lunch and then sprint to my next session, and so the day would continue until finally ending at Israeli dancing in the late evening and collapsing onto a surprisingly comfortable university campbed at around 12:30. As you can see, the days were busy, the nights were busy, and I learnt too much to cram into a single post.

On the first day I arrived, I went to a profoundly moving performance by Finchley Catholic High School, together with St. Michael's School for Girls, entitled "Remember". The play explored different memories from several Holocaust Survivors, and the students applied much of their own experiences visiting Auschwitz and other concentration camp sites to the roles they enacted. The play probed deep into my emotions until tears spilled ceaselessly down my cheeks and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably throughout the poignant performance. The students of these schools, although none of them had grandparents who suffered in the Holocaust, managed to act the parts of survivors so well that I truly believed, for the duration of the play, that they really were who they acted; that these insuperable memories were truly theirs.

Five days at Limmud is a life-changing experience, and in every year I spend there, surprises keep showing up for me and I emerge every year with fresh knowledge and a proud feeling of superior knowing.

Merry Christmas,

Katie J.

Sunday, 16 December 2007

The Curse of Clumsiness

Salutations, stranger, from the centre of the sunless city. I hail from a hateful hamlet in the province of precipitation, homeplace of the pompous parliament and residence of the refined royals.

With the distraction of the summer season, I had unfortunately forgotten about the arctic accompaniment to the windy winter weather so hard to withstand in this chilly country where fall is forgotten. The bleak and biting cold in this gloomy, greyish gulf is unbearable and unwelcoming at best. At this point I think it is necessary to state that the apallingly annoying amount of alliteration is acutely atypical of my normal use of language. Please note that I mean normal for me, which may be described as completely and utterly abnormal to everyone else.

Anyway, what was I on about? Ah, yes. The weather. Tis a fine thing to discuss, weather. We Englishwomen enjoy discussing weather, often at teatime over slightly-burnt, overly-buttered crumpets and too-strong, too-bitter tea. For those who live in the lesser countries around the world, no one ever does that anymore.

With all this unnecessary small-talk, I have quite forgotten the purpose of this post. Hmmm... Perhaps my brain has been dislodged by all this pounding wind and rain, and is now sloshing around inside my head like gravy gone cold. In other news, my older sister, Almond, has recently returned from her travels in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, where she learnt the craft of knife-making from Clayton, a family friend who lives in the aforementioned region. He taught her, I imagine, with much patience, and after hearing hundreds of tales of her travels for their hundredth times, I gathered that she rather enjoyed herself and was eager to learn the craft of knife-making.

Since I've forgotten what I meant to write, I might as well just post this and try and remember another day, and anyone who knows me should completely understand the absurdity of my forgetfullness.

Yours Forgetfully,

Katie J.

Thursday, 6 December 2007

Gladiators

The first is bronze
A reminder of where and when
The first meeting space
So long ago
Scattered memories the only remnants of that time
The red telephone box
A copper crown
Gentle curls
Curved, slender neck
Silver shackles binding me to myself
Forced to just watch you watch me
Rusted through
Growing old but somehow brand new
Speaking a little clearer now
Ribbons and flowers
Roses and daisy-chains
A rusting tiara
A gold necklace
The middle of the beginning
Just starting to see you properly
Without a mind-filling fog clouding our vision
The shining surface
The better you
A mysterious chuckle
A frown, trying not to laugh
The third of two thousand years
A sliver of pretence
The poor mask to your disguise
Your closed eyes give away nothing
Holly and ivy entwine as the bond grows
You shed your spiky bristles
And we can find a new side of you
The fourth and fifth shine just as silver
One large and round
A circle here
Your smile is full
Your eyes open
Your voice happy
The lion in your heart leaping for joy
The other is small
Sharp corners and twisted turns
Trying to cling to the fraying fabric
The threads loosening themselves from the great tapestry
Our footsteps in the poppy fields covered now by rain
The sixth is a rusting grey
A defeated warrior offering flowers to the lion opponent
Your battered shield and bent spear broken at your side
Empty and over.
The last is gold
A shining, fat, yellow sun
Your chin high and sharp
Your crown delicate and scratched
The scars healed almost fully
The flowers dead and wilted.

Poet's Note: This poem is based loosely on a dream I had about two people -"gladiators"- battling, first on ice, then blind, and finally in cyberspace on a giant, hollow, spherical structure with loads of jagged chunks cut out of it. The dream ended with one of the gladiators hanging one-handed off of the structure swinging his sword wildly at his opponent, who was climbing over it with his feet and hands hooked into it so as not to fall off. I wrote the poem at 6:43am in July 2007, just after I woke up.

Katie J.

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Braceface

This morning, at precisely nine fifty-four, my mother and I entered a building roughly the size of a small house, owned by Dr. Bob Kravitz. I surprised myself by doing this voluntarily, as I knew full well that this building is primarily used as an orthodontic surgery, and I was there to undergo a rather unpleasant orthodontic treatment commonly known as "braces". This came in the form of twenty-four metal brackets with dark purple rubber bands around them affixed to my teeth, accompanied by thin metal wires on the top and bottom.

When Dr. Kravitz notified us that he was ready for us to come into a small and ominous room down an unnaturally clean hallway, I seated myself on an extremely uncomfortable dentist's chair and leaned back. There I was subjected to an unexpectedly painful process lasting one hour.

Dr K kept my mouth open with a plastic thingymajig that yanked back my lips and kept my jaws wide open so that he could fish around in there with sharp tools and electrical whirring things. It is very painful to prop one's jaw open for a whole hour, but I was asleep for the most part, and listening to AC/DC on full volume on my iPod proved an excellent painkiller.

After that excessively uncomfortable hour, I had a mouthful of steel and rubber and a nasty taste in my mouth to show for it. The brackets rub against my teeth and I can't talk properly and it feels wierd and I can't close my mouth and they look funny.

But so very many people have tried to convince me that it WILL get better.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger..........

Right?

Monday, 3 December 2007

My Bucket List



  1. Visit an active volcano.


  2. Climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower.


  3. Climb to the top of the Notre Dame Cathedral.


  4. Learn a foregin language.


  5. Shoplift.


  6. Go skinny dipping.


  7. Send a message in a balloon.


  8. Swim in the Meditteranean Sea.


  9. Go to the Anne Frank museum.


  10. Swim with a dolphin.


  11. Skydive.


  12. Ride a camel in the desert.


  13. Plant a tree.


  14. Write a novel.


  15. Learn to play a musical instrument.


  16. Witness a lunar eclipse.


  17. Go to the Grand Canyon.


  18. Meet a celebrity.


  19. Read all 7 Harry Potter books in consecutive order without stopping (even to pee).


  20. Ride in a hot-air balloon.


  21. Take a narrow-boat vacation.


  22. See the pyramids in Egypt.


  23. Befriend an Antarctican penguin.


  24. See the Stonehenge.


  25. Visit the Louvre.


  26. Go to the top of the Empire State Building.


  27. Ride an elephant.


  28. Donate blood.


  29. Dye my hair electric blue.


  30. Kiss someone I've known five minutes.


  31. Walk out of class.


  32. Beat my father at Scrabble.


  33. Beat my sister at SheshBesh (however you spell it)


  34. See a lighthouse in Maine.


  35. Learn to drive.


  36. Learn to skateboard.


  37. Run a Marathon in its entirety.


  38. Read a whole book at Barnes and Noble.


  39. Make a movie.


  40. Go shooting at a shooting range.


  41. See the Aurora.


  42. Visit Niagra Falls.


  43. Build a doghouse.


  44. Drive a husky sled.


  45. Got to the original Disneyland.


  46. See the stars on Hollywood Blvd.


  47. Go to Times Square on New Years Eve.


  48. See Alcatraz.


  49. Go to Glastonbury Music Festival.


  50. Busk.


  51. Give out 100 free hugs at Glastonbury.


So there you go. Fifty-one things left to do in my lifetime. If you have any more to add, please comment.



Wish me luck!



Katie J.