They're Coming to Take Me Away --anon

Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I'd go beserk?
Well,
You left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.
And...
They're coming to take me away
HA HA
They're coming to take me away
HO HO, HEE HEE, HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
They're coming to take me away
HA HA...
You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed
You laughed!
When I had said that losing you
Would make me flip my lid
You know you laughed
I heard you laugh
You laughed
You laughed
You laughed
And then you left
And now you know I'm utterly mad.
And...
They're coming to take me away
HA HA
They're coming to take me away
HO HO, HEE HEE, HA HA
To the happy home
With flowers and trees and chirping birds
And basket weavers that sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away
HA HA
I cooked your food
I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind, unselfish loving deeds?
Well, just you wait
They'll find you yet
And when they do they'll put you in the ASPCA
You mangy mutt!
And...
They're coming to take me away
HA HA
They're coming to take me away
HO HO, HEE HEE, HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
They're coming to take me away
HA HA
To the happy home
With flowers and trees and chirping birds
And basket weavers that sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes
They're coming to take me away
HA HA...

NOTE: For the benefit of the British and the stupid, the ASPCA stands for the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, much like the UK's RSPCA... only American. This poem was recorded in song-form by Dr. Demento, but I don't know the original poet. As you can see, he was obviously completely out of his mind.